Saturday, December 20, 2008

Vows

It's such an easy thing to do - make vows. They're usually said in the moment, when you're not thinking too clearly. They're things you don't even remember saying, but affect you for the rest of your life unless repented for. Never is such a strong word. It can be argued that it causes the most harm to a person. 'I will never be like my mother or father' is one that is often said. And yet, the one thing that we vow we will never be, we always end up being. It's funny how vows work that way. Not funny as in hahaha, but ironic funny. I didn't think I had an vows in my life when I first heard of them. I figured a vow would be something you would remember. In reality, I had made many. God has revealed them to me and I have repented of them. Repetance is only the beginning though. I vowed I wouldn't share my heart with my parents, among other things, when I was a child. Once I repented for it I figured everything was good. Nope. This past week I've had to be open with my parents about my heart. Becasue I had made it a habit to hide my heart, it was very hard to be honest with them about what has happened. Not only had I been hurting myself by hiding things from them, but I was hurting my Mom. It crushed her that I didn't feel like I could talk to her about what goes on in my heart. I saw the tough exterior my Mom puts up melt away and the realness of her hurt come through. I always thought that my Mom didn't want to talk about the things that go on in my heart, but I was wrong. She really does care and she wants to be there to help me. So the moral of the story - think twice before using 'never'. You may be making vows without realizing it.

2 comments:

Heather said...

Wow, i can't wait to hear more about you and your mom...<3

Above all else: Love said...

ditto on heather's comment. <3 <3

very good to hear