As I've grown as a person and in the Lord, the music I've listened has changed. When I first bought CD's to load onto my iTunes I had things like 'Annie Get Your Gun' and 'Grease'. I was big into musicals and "childish" music, but that's because I was a child. My spirit and physical person were not mature. I listened to the same music for years and years without getting tired of it or feeling the need to change. And then I went to college. Lol! Since coming to college my music choices have changed so much. About a quarter of the way through my first semester at Brockport I realized it was uncool to like to listen to 'The Little Mermaid' and 'The Lion King' soundtracks. People looked at you weird and the roommates commented on it quite a bit. For a while I still listened to it...just quieter ;-).
Slowly though, I got really tired of listening to it. So I started looking for other music. I can't remember how many times my preferences expanded, but it was a lot. I went from a girl who listened to kids music to a woman who turned up the bass and speakers on up-to-date pop and hip hop; jammin' tunes as I like to call them. Not only did my secular choices expand and change, but my worship preferences did too. There were seasons of Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, and Sanctus Real's "Whatever You're Doing". Through each change in life I would listen to some songs less and less and others more and more. My playlist called Life started to take shape. Going back and listening to these songs stirs my heart and reminds me of where I've been, sometimes not in a good way. Some seasons, well many actually were really difficult and challenging. As I've grown they become even more challenging and the music I listen to reflects that.
I've started deleting the music I never listen to anymore (currently down to 800). It's not easy because it means I really have to let go of the past and the emotions that songs bring up. And the 'what if I "need" that song later' thought. (Good thing we have YouTube.) The reminders of who I used to be and where I was stuck. It isn't a bad thing to remember those places and I don't plan on forgetting, but I do plan to move forward and not dwell in the same emotions as I had then.
So here is a song that I would like to share with you which is currently well played on my ipod and library. It doesn't have a music video and you can't find the lyrics online, but iTunes does have it. Haha! This song speaks so deeply to my heart and what I want to know in Christ. It is very simple yet quite intense, so I will leave you to digest it.