Thursday, February 19, 2009

Recognition...It's a Wonderful Thing

Sunday, for the first time, I had a prophetic word spoken over me during church. First I will write down what was said, and then I will give my thoughts on it.

"The Lord just kinda showed me a few things, umm..., He just showed me that you have a lot of love for people. Like there's just a lot there. There's times when it's really overwhelming, like all the sudden it just comes up and it's just, you just have this, you just want to cry for people and you just don't know where it's coming from. Like, what is this? ummm...and there's a couple points of confusion there that the Lord just really wants to address for you today. He just really wants to resolve it in your heart that first of all it's something that's really from Him. It's something that He has a real purpose for and there's a direction that He's going to take you uhh in with that. And, and it's all for a purpose so it's good, it's really good. And, and, but there's sometimes where there's confusion that comes up because you feel this overwhelming love for people. And, and uhh I don't know if it's a particular people, group or whatever but you don't neccesarily feel it from other people, sometimes. And uhhh you almost feel like you, you have this really heavy bag on one shoulder, and you're kind of off kilter like, like you have this overwhelming love for people and you just don't know how to express it, what to do with it. But then you don't neccesarily feel it from other people sometimes, and the Lord just want to break that in you right now. Lord Jesus I just ask for a release, in Jesus name, in her mind and in her emotions. Lord Jesus that You would just break even that spirit of confusion that, that would try to uhh that would try to speak lies into her mind and, and would try to tell her that she's not loved. In Jesus' name I proclaim you loved by your brothers and sisters in the Lord and I just speak a release to that area where she just can't find that breakthrough. The feelings might not be there, but you're loved in Jesus name. And Father I just ask for Your love to just pour over her Lord God, a new relationship of love between You and her where she would find all of her needs met in Jesus name."



I don't think I can express how long I have been waiting and wanting for a word from God. Since I was around 13 or 14, I have wanted a prophetic word from God in the worst way. To know that He sees me and loves me. There have been times in my life where I have prayed for this and times where I have given up hoping for it to happen. On Sunday, I was not expecting anything. In fact I was having a hard time really getting into worship. I don't know why, but for some reason I was having a hard time focusing. So near the end of worship a guy who is known to have the gift of prophecy comes toward me. Now usually when I see someone who has this gift I hope that they are coming for me. But when I saw this guy, it just did not occur to me that that was what he was coming to do. Even when he started speaking this word to me it didn't really sink in. Now I just want to say that this guy did not previously know about certain things he said about me. Specifically the part about me not feeling love from other people. It's not really something I just go around telling people. Only a couple people really know this about me. Well, now more know about it. lol!


Ok, so the first part. "...you have a lot of love for people. Like there's just a lot there. There's times when it's really overwhelming, like all the sudden it just comes up and it's just, you just have this, you just want to cry for people and you just don't know where it's coming from. Like, what is this? " When I was younger I used to cry all the time, and 90% of the time I had no idea why I was crying. Unfortunately, through many things, it was impressed upon me that I needed to have a reason to cry otherwise I shouldn't. So I learned to hide this and keep it at bay, or I would find a reason to cry and use that. I'm not blaming the people who implied this, it's just that in my mind that is what I got from it. Over the years, though, that feeling has come up off and on, especially while I'm at school for some reason. Now I have an explanation for it. "He just really wants to resolve it in your heart that first of all it's something that's really from Him. It's something that He has a real purpose for and there's a direction that He's going to take you uhh in with that. And, and it's all for a purpose so it's good, it's really good. " Another thing, I HAVE A PURPOSE!!!! I know this seems silly becasue everyone has a prupose, but sometimes I really feel like I'm not living out that purpose. That instead I'm just some lump on the globe that is waiting til the end. My calling is another thing that I have really wanted to know about. I don't have it yet, but I feel like I'm one step closer to finding out.


Second part. "...but there's sometimes where there's confusion that comes up because you feel this overwhelming love for people. And, and uhh I don't know if it's a particular people, group or whatever but you don't neccesarily feel it from other people, sometimes. And uhhh you almost feel like you, you have this really heavy bag on one shoulder, and you're kind of off kilter like, like you have this overwhelming love for people and you just don't know how to express it, what to do with it. But then you don't neccesarily feel it from other people sometimes, and the Lord just want to break that in you right now. " So this, this is true. I know that I am loved by others, but there's a difference between knowing and really feeling that love. For some reason I am a feeling person. I want to 'feel' love from, not only other people, but from God. Here's the problem, God is not a feeling and I know that, but it's hard for me to accept (?) the knowledge that He loves me when I don't feel that love. The same goes for people. I have a hard time believing someone when they say "I love you" if I don't 'feel' that love. I'm not sure I'm explaning this in a way that you are going to understand. And I'm not saying that when I do something for someone out of love I expect something in return. The reason I do things out of love is to simply just do that, with no return or recognition of what I did at all. Ahhhhh! I feel like this could come off really wrong! Anyway, what was said is true...end of story.


Now at one point while this guy was talking and praying for me, I was absolutely positive that he said a particular something. But when I went back and listened to what was actually said, it wasn't there. Here's what I know I heard but is not on the CD - "Even though you don't 'feel' God's love, He does love you and He wants you to know that". Now when I was listening to the CD and didn't hear this, I wondered for a moment if I really did hear it. But ya know what? Even though that wasn't part of what was recorded, I know it was said. In my spirit I know it because the word 'feel' was used; a word that means a lot to me. Going back to a previous paragraph, I have wanted for a long time to be told through prophecy that God loves me. Just to hear from Him makes all the difference, and that is why I can't just shrug it off and say I was hearing things because it's true one way or the other. God does love me even though I don't 'feel' it, He really does and that just brings me so much joy. There are so many other things I could say about this prophetic word, but I don't have the words to express it and give it the credit it deserves. All I can do is say Mmmmmmmmmmmm <3

1 comment:

Heather said...

MMMMmmm....<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3