Friday, February 24, 2012
Leaving Your Desires...and Picking Up Mine
I am learning that part of being an adult is making decisions based off of your own beliefs and not others. And that in order to make boundaries you have to inform the other party of your intentions. Both are very hard things to do when it involves people you are close to. There are people in each of our lives that we want to please whether in regards to the decisions we make, the places we go, the career we choose, person we marry, or (fill in the blank). We all have dreams and desires from the time we are young. Some people hide them, some strive to have them fulfilled and do anything to see them come true, some wish they would come true without doing anything, while others change them. Our dreams and desires naturally change and take shape as we grow older in good ways, and sometimes maybe in bad ways too. People come into our lives that show us the reality of some of our far off superhero-like dreams, like growing wings and flying, and sometimes the realistic dreams are crushed. For those of us who like to people please, it's easier to hide what we really want and believe to protect and keep those closest to us from the possibility of being hurt; it's easier to suffer than to express a want or need. However, that only hurts one person...you...me...us. It's hard and scary to take a stand and say "THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE" to someone who means a lot to you, who has expressed disappointment in you for that, and who has thought it to be untrue. I have seen in movies when a young adult decides they are no longer going to follow someone else's dream, and instead follow their own. There are usually some hurt feelings, but the other person always comes to see the young adults perspective in the next scene. I have also seen this scenario in real life with the outcome being very different. There are years of no support from those closest to you, but you are doing what you believe you should, what you believe God wants you to do and a support system comes around you from your church family. We all want the perfect ending when we decide we are going to make our own decisions as adults, but it doesn't always happen that way. The Bible says we are to leave (and later cleave) in Gen 2:24 - "Therefore shall a man [or woman] leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife [or husband]: and they shall be one flesh". (brackets inserted by me) Leaving is hard, and it doesn't mean forgoing sound advise simply to do something you want to do regardless of whether it matches with God's law and plan or not. The Hebrew word used in this verse is `azab and it means to loosen or relinquish. We are to loosen our ties with one so that we may eventually make them stronger with another person. Until that person comes around we are to strengthen our ties with "the Lover" - Jesus. Sometimes that means we have to move in a direction that those closest to us disagree with. But if it's truly what God wants you to do, then there will be blessings in that. Sometimes you may not see the blessing for a while, but they will come. Or God will direct somewhere else. It's time to leave and follow what I believe God wants me to do and not be afraid to say and do so.