Disney Complex

I've heard of this several times throughout my life. The sadness of how little girls are affected by Disney princess movies their entire lives. I have never considered myself to have the Disney complex...that is til yesterday. Sadly enough I have now come to realize through the detailed explanation from the head youth leader that I am one of those girls that has the Disney complex. It was a little devastating and shameful when the realization came out. I have always thought myself above this interesting dilemma of young girls, and yet the evidence of the affects throughout my childhood are very clear. As Chad so brutally explained, many girls end up believing they need a man and that obtaining a relationship with one will make all our problems go away; once Prince Charming comes around the world will be perfect. *sigh. Yes for many years I did believe this to be true. Many times I would tell myself "If only I had a boyfriend". I wasn't really taught that Jesus is the Prince and the only one I need. Good thing He got a hold of me. Thankfully I do not think that to be true anymore and although the thought still comes up occasionally, now I aware of it and can nip it in the bud. However, I will always enjoy the prospect of being swept off my feet by a prince of the Godly kind ;-)

Exiled from SUCBrockport

Well it is now official...I really am no longer a college student. The college has locked me out of their system and I have lost my ID name and number. I am also no longer receiving emails about college events through BASIC or Campus Crusade. I am simply a memory. Haha! A little dramatic right? It is a little sad to be cut off completely from college. I miss it a lot at times, but only parts of it ;-)

Far from God's Plan

  

This commercial breaks my heart every time I see it. Not only because the wife treats her husband this way in a pretend atmosphere, but that it actually happens in real life and this commercial encourages it. So sad.

Oh the Olden Days

I looked up a song to see who it was played by and this picture came up amongst other sites relating to the song.

It's sad that the young men of today don't look as innocent as they use to. How society has changed.



Props for who knows these guys without looking it up :).

Happy 100!

Here it is, the 100th post. Quite honestly I didn't think I'd make it this far with this blog. Throughout my life I have gone through fazes where I have enjoyed keeping a journal and other times where I can't stand it. I figured I would get tired of writing posts on a blog for the very few people that read it, but that didn't really happen. There have been times where I really just wanted a small break from this blog, however I do enjoy putting my thoughts out there to whoever might like to read them. So Happy 100th post to me! Hopefully there will be a hundred more and people who will want to read them. lol!

The Inevitable

After 5 years of not having a primary care physician I have sadly reached the point in time where I need one. Over the past three weeks I have had an abundant array of physical maladies occur that really needed the attention of a doctor. However, since I don't have a primary care physician I have been stuck going to the after hour care in Spencerport and a random eye doctor that really didn't know what he was doing. It all started out with pink eye and a very swollen throat. Then it moved onto ear aches, coughing, headaches, and a still very swollen throat. After two weeks of that I caved and went to the after hour care for people who don't have a doctor. I was told it was all allergies, which I have never had before. My mom, though, thought it was mono. But did you know that you can't get a mono test without a doctor's note? Yeah, you can't. Which made my situation even more frustrating. Upon researching mono I found that all my symptoms, including the ones I gained along the way, were all on the list for mono. So I figure no big deal I'll just go get tested. Yeah, I couldn't get tested. After calling several different clinics and hospitals it all came down to one question - do you have a primary care physician? - to which I always had to answer no. And so I have to accept one more aspect of adulthood and get a doctor.
:-P

It's OK that I'm Me

In January I started volunteering at my churches youth group for a trial session in being a leader. It was awkward and hard to connect with the kids and I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing. I felt like I didn't fit in with the other female leaders and I wasn't able to connect with any of the girls really. It was frustrating, point blank, and I couldn't figure out why. I felt under appreciated, left out of the loop, and unimportant. It was awful and I was ready to quit what I felt God was calling me to. I couldn't figure out why God would want me to work with youth (especially high school girls) if this was what I was going to feel like all the time.

And then it hit me only a couple weeks ago...I wasn't being me. I was constantly comparing myself to the other female youth leaders. Closely observing how they interacted with the kids and trying to copy be them. Without even realizing it I had the opinion that if I was exactly like Greta or Becca I would be liked more by the kids and the leaders. If I became what I thought they wanted me to be then I would feel better. But comparing myself with them hurt a lot because I am not them. I don't relate to the kids the same way they do. It's not that I don't know as much about God than they do - although they may know a little more than me having known God longer - it was about trying to please them instead of God. Somehow I got all mixed up about what I why I was actually there and I became trapped in this mind set that I needed to please the other leaders or else I was doing it wrong. The more I tried to please, the less the other leaders commented on things I was doing. They weren't doing it to try to be mean, in fact they probably didn't realize that they were even doing it. Looking at it now it was probably God trying to get me to please Him instead of others.

Well I have come to terms with it somewhat. I won't ever be like Greta and Becca when it comes to relating to these kids. In some ways I might, but as a whole not really. I am loud, I like to be funny and ridiculous, and have ridiculous amounts of fun with the kids. I'm not really demure (meaning serious and reserved, although I can be at times) and I am sarcastic. I am sure the other women leaders can be the exact same thing at times, but so far I haven't seen it. They are the adults and not at all like the kids. I want to be both. I want to be a kid with them and still be in authority, which I can be. It's ok for me to be me. And it really doesn't matter what the others think. As soon as I stopped being someone else, I connected with the kids and felt so free and alive with them.

I'm not Greta or Becca, I'm me and God likes that.

*A little discrepancy note: Dea, if you read this I didn't forget you were a leader, I just haven't compared myself to you yet =D

Tick Tock...

As I was cleaning out my fish Hallel's tank today I started thinking about something that happened a couple weeks ago. It is something I am slightly ashamed about and am yet intrigued and confused about it. A little while back I had the glorious task of babysitting for a friend of mine. They have three children - 6,4, and 2 months. It has been a long time since I've taken care of a little baby and was very excited for the task since I have been missing that part of working in a child care setting. Throughout the night I found myself doing something that has never happened before when taking care of a little baby. I had a very strong desire to say to the baby, "It's ok, Mamma's gonna...". I realize that I am obviously not the child's mother and quite honestly I am really unsure why the need to have that baby recognize me as mom was there. It didn't just happen once either. All night whenever the baby fussed I had to catch myself from saying I was her mom.  Every time it would happen there would be a couple thoughts that would cross my mind - what would her mother think if she knew I almost kept calling myself her mother? and why do I keep doing this? It was getting a little frustrating because it seemed to come so naturally.

This has never happened before. I haven't ever wanted to call a child that clearly belonged to someone else my own. When I was a little girl I used to pretend what it would be like to be a mom-to-be. I would put pillows and balls up my shirt and walk around pretending to be pregnant. There isn't one girl I don't know who hasn't done this at least once in her life, whether by joke or seriously. So what's going on now to make that change? Well I can only think of one thing - my biological clock is ticking loud and clear. I am not that old. Even though I may say I feel old at 23 sometimes, I really do know that I'm not. Maybe it's not my biological clock. But if it isn't, then why is this desire to call a child my own so strong right now?

Narnia. Who Knew?

It amazes me some of the ways the Lord chooses to bring revelation. As I was driving home from a short trip to VT the Lord started to speak to me through C.S. Lewis' book The Horse and His Boy. It was a surprise as Jesus started revealing things in my heart.

It was near the end of the book when Shasta is bemoaning his misfortune over his life, and how he has come upon several lions throughout his trip that terrified him when normal people wouldn't even see one in their lifetime. Basically he's complaining. Amidst his self-pity and turmoil Aslan - a symbol of God - comes to him and enlightens him about the events that have happened in his life that he views as 'unfortunate'.

Here is part of the dialogue that occurs between the two.

"Aslan: You believe you are unfortunate. Why?

Shasta: Why Wouldn’t I? If only you knew what my life has been like.

Aslan: Tell me.

Shasta: Well I’m no better than an orphan. I’ve never known my real mother or father, and I was brought up by a cruel fisherman. And then finally I was able to escape. But for what? To get chased by lions and mistaken for someone else in Tashban? And to get frightened half to death by some beasts near the tombs? And suffer from heat and thirst in the desert, and then just as we’re about to reach our goal I get chased by another lion who wounded poor Arivus? And, and…now I’m lost and miserable.

...

Aslan: I was the lion who forced you to join with Arivus. I was the cat who comforted you among the tombs. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay a child near death so that it came to shore where a man sat wakeful at midnight to receive you."

As I was listening to this play out, the difference between God's perspective and my perspective or anyone's is so different. We as humans see things that happen in our lives a certain way. Just as Shasta saw pretty much everything in his life was unfortunate we tend to do the same thing at times. We bemoan the state our life is in or an event that occurred that we would have liked to see go differently or the perplexity of something. It reminds me of the story where two people stood opposite each other looking at a glass ball. When asked what color it is, one person says black and the other white. When hearing the others answer each person gets angry and starts arguing. It isn't until one person walks over to the other side to see why the other person sees another color do they realize that the person was seeing it from a different perspective. Sometimes we do that with God. We stand on the other side of the ball and argue with Him that He is wrong. There's no way His side could be white and ours black. It isn't until we let go of our perspective and pride and look at a situation from His perspective that we see the truth. His perspective is always the right one. He sees the big picture more than we will ever be able to and He knows why things happen.

You're probably thinking I should have known this beforehand. And guess what...I did, just not in my heart; the only true way to know something. When we evaluate the things in our life and decide to complain about them or throw ourselves a pity party, we need to step back and ask God to show us the situation from His perspective. You might be surprised as Shasta was to discover His side of the ball.

Old or New Law?

We've all heard of the greatest commandments right? If you haven't here it is:

Mark 12:29-31 "Jesus answered him, "The first of all the commandments is: 'Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.  And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength.' This is the first commandment. And the second, like it, is this: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no other commandment greater than these." 

I feel a little silly for not knowing this earlier than today, but here is my confession. I did not know that these commandments came earlier in the Bible than in Matt, Mark, and Luke. I've only ever heard it read out of the new testament and described as the "new" commandments when Jesus came and died for all. Sadly I haven't ever read it on my own to see the truth behind this scripture. I'm sure pastors have said these commandments didn't originate from the New Testament, but I don't remember; that's a part I've omitted from memory. Well today during my quiet time I read such verses (but in Luke) about the greatest commandments. And low and behold I look down to the footnotes and see two verses that go along with the one that are located in the Old Testament. So I look them up to see what they are.

Leviticus 19:18 "You shall not take vengeance, now bear any grudge against the children of your people, BUT YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF: I am the Lord."

Deuteronomy 6:5 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength."

Who knew they were first in the Old Testament as part of the original law!? Right after the Ten Commandments were written, the Law was written by Moses and I think some others. Here it is, the greatest commandment (which it is called in the original law as well) spoken long before Jesus ever came into human form. Quite honestly it blows my mind that I didn't see this earlier. And then it makes me think: Did people forget that part of the Law and is that why Jesus brings it back up? Who knows? Only Him.

Curve Balls

Life will throw you some curve balls. I know I have had some small ones already and I’m sure there will be more to come. The latest involves my car. I have had two cars over the six years that I have been driving; both lasting around 3 years. The first car I had was Ruby Pickles. A wonderful Ford Escort Wagon that was a maroon color. I loved that car and pretty much balled when she died. Being young and naïve about the workings of a car I ran her into the ground. I do need to point out that I did ask for advice concerning the lack of acceleration and shifting of gears. However, I was met with the reply of “It’s probably nothing”. Well I didn’t take very long, a matter of months, before she stopped working. Turns out you should check the transmission fuel every couple of months on old cars to make sure it is staying at full. Yeah I missed that one and drove the car till it had zero fluid left causing great havoc within the transmission causing it to quit. Since it would cost more to put a new one in than it was worth I sold it for a mere $250 as a parts car. :(. It was a sad day.

Being still young and naïve when I purchased my second car, Vivian, there were certain things that should have raised flags about buying it. Looking back upon this decision I see it was not the greatest to make. In fact it was rather stupid. The dealer openly told me that the car had had a new engine put in because the old one blew up. He must have realized I probably wouldn’t ask questions about how old the “new” engine was or bother him about how the check engine light wouldn’t go off. Being a girl and only 19, he had me sized up pretty good. All I wanted was a set of wheels that moved to regain my freedom, and he had it priced at what I perceived was a pretty good deal. I was told that the car was originally $4,000 but just for me he would sell it to me for $3,000…until three days later that is upon which it would go back up to $4,000. Oh how I was sucked in even though my parents warned he was pulling one over me. Quite honestly I didn’t really think about whether or not I had made a good decision. I was desperate to have a way to escape home and the relying on of my parents for a ride to work and anywhere else; the anywhere else part didn’t really happen. I was cooped up and itching to get out. If only I had shopped around a little more and looked at other cars I wouldn’t be in this predicament.

So here I am trying to figure out how I am going to catch this curve ball. Vivian’s second engine has completely failed. The replacement of which would cost more than the car is actually worth. As a result she is being buried. *sigh. What to do…I really don’t know. I have zero savings to spend on a new car and I am cringing at the fact that I will have to take on more debt so that I may have a car to drive to work so that I can pay off not only my upcoming loan payments, but also car payments. Joy. Praise the Lord that I have a job that will be able to pay for both and an Uncle that is allowing me to borrow a loaner car from his garage for a couple weeks. I am deeply grateful and very lost at the same time. Sometimes I wish there was a literal stairway to God’s throne in my room where I could go up and just talk with Him about what I should do and actually here a response. Gah!!!! I hate car shopping. I really have no idea what I’m doing. Thank the Lord that He knows what’s going on.

Sometimes being an adult really stinks.

Taking it Out of Context?

So many times I've heard frustrations verbalized about how certain scriptures are taken out of context. The most commonly used is "Ask and it shall be given to you" from Matt 7:7 or Luke 11:9. Taking scripture out of context is understandably and rightfully frustrating to us and God. I am here to show another scripture that tends to be taken out of context and is widely quoted...and controversial.

"For you yourselves know that the day of the Lord comes as a thief in the night." 1Thess 5:2

Here's the thing, no one reads the verses before or after it. This verse is the basis for many people not believing that we will know about the end times and the timeline of events. Let's read the verses before and after verse two. 

"But concerning the times and seasons, brethren, you have no need that I should write to you...For when they say 'Peace and safety!' then sudden destruction comes upon them, as labor pains upon a pregnant woman. And they shall not escape. But you, brethren, are not in darkness, so that this Day should take you as a thief."

(verses 1, 3-4)

First, right in verse one Paul says that he really doesn't have to tell them this, "but concerning the times and seasons, there is no need that I should write to you". He does write tell them though, not so they will know, but so that everyone who reads it will see and know and understand.

Second, who is the "they" Paul keeps mentioning? Obviously not the Thessalonians and those who know God. The "they" is everyone who is ignorant towards God and refuses to come to Him. Paul separates the sheep from the goats and says "but you brethren are not in darkness (for clarification God is light, Satan is darkness ), so that this Day should overtake you as a thief". Basically, Jesus isn't going to come to you as a thief in the night; it won't be a surprise because you are in the light, in God.

There are so many passages in the Bible that talk about the last days before Jesus comes back, not just the book of Revelations. Micah and Habakkuk, Daniel, parts of Matthew where Jesus Himself talks about it.   I know there is much debate about pre, middle, or post tribulation rapture so I would like to point out two (of several) passages that give insight.

"Behold, I tell you a mystery: We shall not all sleep, but we shall be changed - in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, and the dead will be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed." 1 Corinthians 15:51-52

"For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of an archangel, and with a trumpet of God. And the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain shall be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And thus we shall always be with the Lord." 1 Thessalonians 4:1-17

The books and passages of the Bible that talk about the second coming are there so that we can read and know what is going to happen, taking the knowledge to everyone who will hear. Do we know the exact date? Of course not, only Jesus knows that. But we do know events that lead up to it. If you believe we will be raptured before tribulation, don't assume that you don't need to know about tribulation and what is going to happen. Don't assume anything. I may be wrong in my belief about the end times I may be right, either way be prepared for the worst. Find out what scripture has to say and gain knowledge.

Life is a Playlist

Did you ever notice that the music you listen to changes depending on where you are in life? I didn't until a couple days ago. As someone who listens to music a lot and loves to worship God through music, you'd think I'd catch on to this sooner. Haha! For the first time last week, I went through my iTunes and really looked at the music I have. Now I don't download every song that comes out like my sister, but I have had over 1000 songs. So many songs I forgot I actually had in my library. As I started going through them I realized there were so many I really don't listen to anymore. So I stopped and asked myself why. Why don't I listen to these songs anymore? A simple answer came to mind - they were for different seasons and I'm not that person anymore.

As I've grown as a person and in the Lord, the music I've listened has changed. When I first bought CD's to load onto my iTunes I had things like 'Annie Get Your Gun' and 'Grease'. I was big into musicals and "childish" music, but that's because I was a child. My spirit and physical person were not mature. I listened to the same music for years and years without getting tired of it or feeling the need to change. And then I went to college. Lol! Since coming to college my music choices have changed so much. About a quarter of the way through my first semester at Brockport I realized it was uncool to like to listen to 'The Little Mermaid' and 'The Lion King' soundtracks. People looked at you weird and the roommates commented on it quite a bit. For a while I still listened to it...just quieter ;-).

Slowly though, I got really tired of listening to it. So I started looking for other music. I can't remember how many times my preferences expanded, but it was a lot. I went from a girl who listened to kids music to a woman who turned up the bass and speakers on up-to-date pop and hip hop; jammin' tunes as I like to call them. Not only did my secular choices expand and change, but my worship preferences did too. There were seasons of Hillsong, Chris Tomlin, and Sanctus Real's "Whatever You're Doing". Through each change in life I would listen to some songs less and less and others more and more. My playlist called Life started to take shape. Going back and listening to these songs stirs my heart and reminds me of where I've been, sometimes not in a good way. Some seasons, well many actually were really difficult and challenging. As I've grown they become even more challenging and the music I listen to reflects that. 

I've started deleting the music I never listen to anymore (currently down to 800). It's not easy because it means I really have to let go of the past and the emotions that songs bring up. And the 'what if I "need" that song later' thought. (Good thing we have YouTube.) The reminders of who I used to be and where I was stuck. It isn't a bad thing to remember those places and I don't plan on forgetting, but I do plan to move forward and not dwell in the same emotions as I had then.

So here is a song that I would like to share with you which is currently well played on my ipod and library. It doesn't have a music video and you can't find the lyrics online, but iTunes does have it. Haha! This song speaks so deeply to my heart and what I want to know in Christ. It is very simple yet quite intense, so I will leave you to digest it.

First Commandment

by Clay Edwards

I will let you love me

I will let you wash my feet

I will let you serve me

For it sets me free

And it causes me, to love You in return

I will love you Lord with all of my heart

I will love you Lord with all of my soul

I will love you Lord with all of my mind and my strength

I will let you love me

I will let you wash my feet

I will let you serve me.

For it sets me free

And it causes me, to love You in return

I will love you Lord with all of my heart

I will love you Lord with all of my soul

I will love you Lord with all of my mind and my strength (x2)

And it takes You to love You

So increase revelation

And it takes You to love You

To You is my affection

And it takes You to love You

So increase revelation of Your love

I will love you Lord with all of my heart

I will love you Lord with all of my soul

I will love you Lord with all of my mind and my strength (x2)

And it takes You to love You

So increase revelation

And it takes You to love You

To You is my affection

And it takes You to love You

So increase revelation of Your love

I will love you Lord with all of my heart

I will love you Lord with all of my soul

I will love you Lord with all of my mind and my strength

It's Proof...People Love You

Oh birthdays. The one day a year people tend to dread the older they get, and yet it's one of the days in a year that you feel truly loved by all those around you. I'm not old enough to dread turning another year older, yet...I hear it starts around the time you reach middle age. Lol! Sometimes I forget how many people I come into contact every day and have come into contact with in my life. Facebook is a great contributor to the act of somewhat keeping in contact with those that you meet. At least friending them and then posting on each others' walls at minimum once or twice a year, that day being a birthday. Your profile page that doesn't see much action suddenly blows up with all the birthday wishes from people. Some you haven't talked to in a long time, others' you talk to frequently. Not only do you get posts on your wall on Facebook, but your pastor singles you out at a class at church to wish you good tidings in front of everyone and family gets together to just celebrate you.  And if you can't celebrate with them in person they tape your face to your little sister's Dora the Explorer doll and then video tape singing happy birthday to you as though you were there, which is shortly thereafter posted to Facebook. Close friends call and text you just so they can say it in person. Electronic cards are sent while others are mailed to you. Sometimes you get to celebrate more than once because one day isn't enough to fit everyone in. It is your day where everyone says "we're glad you were born and we love you". A day where the focus can be on you for a little bit.

I must admit that going into this day, I was not looking forward to it. Life has been rough the past couple months. The process of stretching and growing one's faith is not easy, in fact it's a lot harder than I bargained for. Even though 23 is not really that old, I am reluctant to accept that another year of my life is starting. It seemed like just yesterday I was playing with Barbies and becoming a teenager. What happened? There were things I wanted to happen in life before I got to this point that haven't. Sometimes the disappointment of that is really strong and hard to be joyful about, and life gets overwhelming. As much as I'm still unsure about being 23, I am ending the day with such gratitude towards everyone that is in my life and a tremendous feeling of being loved. I am joyful that God has placed so many people in my path, so many people that care. Birthdays are it; they're proof...people really love you.

The Differences Between Us

Yesterday I was exactly the same age as my mother the day she had me - exactly one week away from turning 23. It amazes me how different our lives are at that same point. My Mom had been married for 10 months to the only man she had loved and dated, and she had just had her first child - ME. I was a complete unexpected development in their life that was even more unexpected due to the fact that I was 2 and 1/2 weeks early. The April 2nd baby turned into a March 15th baby. I do thank God, though, that I wasn't born on April fools...for sure. Haha! Due to me being in stress...probably about being born...my Mom had to be induced into labor and I was born at 11:25 am Tues March 15th.

I am no where near where my Mom was at this age. I'm not married and I don't have a bundle of joy. I always thought I would be at the same place as my Mom at 22 growing up, though. Especially when I was an early teenager, I wanted nothing more than to become someones wife and have loads of babies at a young age, like my Mom. Sitting here now, I realize there is no way I would want to get married and have children right away. Would I like to be married right now? Yeah sure. Do I want children right now? That would be a big fat no. Haha! Although I may know more than the average first Mom due to my experience in the education field and having helped my Mom with four of my five siblings, I know I am no way ready to have a child right now. My Mom didn't want children at 22 either, but she got one.

So far my life has been fairly similar to my Mom's in quite a few ways, but here is where we part in similarities. There are still some similarities that remain between us at this age, like being broke, that I don't want to remain and I know my Mom doesn't want me to have to go through as well. My Mom is an amazing person who has gone through a lot in life. Even though she never wanted children and although I came at a very unopportunistic time, I am very thankful she kept me and that she loves me and my five siblings very much. Love you Mom :-)

Why The Bible Mentions Unicorns

This is very interesting. I've never heard the argument of believing in the Bible it mentions unicorns, but here it is. This short video explains the truth of the statement. You learn something new every day and I will never think of a "unicorn" the same way again.

Jealous Love

God is a jealous lover. He gets angry when we give our hearts over to things that don't involve Him. He is a selfless God, but He is selfish about us. He wants us all to Himself and no one else.

Leviticus 20:26 - "And you shall be holy to Me, for I the Lord am holy, and have separated you from the peoples, that you should be Mine."

Jeremiah 18:1-11 - The word which came to Jeremiah from the Lord, saying: "Arise and go down to the potter's house, and there I will cause you to hear My words." Then I went down to the potter's house, and there he was, making something at the wheel. And the vessel that he made of clay was marred in the hand of the potter; so he made it again into another vessel, as it seemed good to the potter to make. Then the word of the Lord came to me, saying: "O house of Israel, can I not do with you as this potter?" says the Lord. "Look, as the clay is in the potter's hand, so are you in My hand, O house of Israel! The instant I speak concerning a nation and concerning a kingdom, to pluck up, to pull down, and to destroy it, if that nation against whom I have spoken turns from its evil, I will relent of the disaster that I thought to bring upon it. And the instant I speak concerning a nation and concerning a kingdom, to build and to plant it, if it does evil in My sight so that it does not obey My voice, then I will relent concerning the good with which I said I would benefit it. "Now therefore, speak to the men of Judah and to the inhabitants of Jerusalem, saying, 'Thus says the Lord: "Behold, I am fashioning a disaster and devising a plan against you. Return now every one from his evil way, and make your ways and your doings good." ' 

Both times God is talking to Israel, His chosen people. He wants them to love Him and give themselves over completely to Him so badly. It amazes me the amount of love God has for that nation. Over and over again Israel denies and rejects God. Yet He still loves them with unabashed and deep passion. In verse 12 of Jeremiah 18, the Israelites say this, "And they said, "That is hopeless! So we will walk according to our own plans, and we will every one obey the dictates of his evil heart." If God still loves Israel so much after a statement like that, which He clearly does if you look at scripture, how can we entertain the thought that God can't love us after we mess up two or three times? Israel has messed up sooooo many times, more than can be counted, and she has given her heart away to many adulterers throughout the centuries. There is nothing we could possibly do that is worse than what Israel has already done. (No offense to Israel or anything) It took a lot for God to become angry with Israel. He's not going to ditch you simply because you messed up...again. God is a jealous God and His loves is more abundant and forgiving than we could ever imagine; slow to anger and quick to love, His anger lasts but a moment and His love a lifetime.

Oh Spring!

The deliciousness of spring has been lingering around western NY the past couple days. It has been so wonderful!!! The sun has been out, mud is coming up everywhere, and the temperature is in the 40's. Since it's been so cold we don't notice that it actually really isn't that warm out. It feels so good to sense and smell spring ahead. However, it is short-lived. Snow is predicted to come over the weekend and the temperature to drop. :(. It's these little glimpses of hope that the torture of cold weather will end that get us through the bitterness of the rest of the season. It's what God does at times. When we go through a rough patch in life where life seems to be throwing us storm after storm or we're going through a dry patch in life, He throws us a little taste of what it's like after the storm or desert. Our hope is rejuvenated in His faithfulness and we continue on through the trial seeing more of the big picture than before with our faith built up even just the slightest amount.

Finding a job after college is done is no fun. It's tedious and very discouraging when every place you go to turns you down. When you have issues with rejection this does not add the joy of finding a career job, or any job for that matter. It's been hard for me to find a job. I get really discouraged when employers don't even want to consider me for a position. But God has reminded me of the big picture and shown that He is faithful. Nothing is set in any way, but the fact that someone wants to interview me for a consistent full-time position is amazing. It gives me hope that I am worthy of working in the professional world and there are employers that will want me. I can do it, and He will provide.

Happy Valentine's Day!

In the spirit of valentine's day and love and marriage I have a link to share that is applicable to those who are married, engaged, or even single peeps who one day would like to be married. Pastor Paul Peterson explores sex and the Bible in his four sermon series Bedroom Talks. He goes through the Song of Solomon and discusses God's opinion on sex and advice about being a good lover. Check it out in the podcast list under the media tab.

http://church180.tv

Romeo, Romeo. Wherefore art thou Romeo?

I love dreaming about my wedding, the love my future husband and I will share, the utter and abundant joy that I know will overflow from our marriage, and the journey we will take together. Of course I'm not naive enough to think it won't be hard at times and we both will have to work on our relationship, but that knowledge doesn't hinder me from dreaming about the gloriousness of it all. Any movie that integrates love into the characters lives excites my soul for the time when it will finally come to me...he will come to me and I to him and we will relish in being in love with each other. And since this is Valentines season, movies about love are on all the time for the next couple weeks. How it stirs me on the inside to know that some day, hopefully soon, a man of godly character will come around and sweep me off my feet and I will be able to understand in a tangible sense the lover side of Jesus. I know that Jesus is a lover and that He loves me more than I could ever imagine. But so many times I wish He would meet me in a physical form just so I could have a hug from Him. To feel, physically feel just how much I mean to Him. Someday my future husband will be able to show that to me. I know that he will be used by God to materialize that for me. Oh how I long for that day!!!! It will come, I hope, soon. Where is my Romeo?