The Call by Regina Spektor

It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
Til it was a battle cry

I'll come back
When you call me
No need to say goodbye

Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never
Been this way before
All you can do is try to know
Who your friends are
As you head off to the war

Pick a star on the dark horizon
And follow the light
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When it's over
No need to say good bye

Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
Til they're before your eyes

You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye
You'll come back
When they call you
No need to say good bye

Doubt

Doubt can be as small as a pebble or a grain of sand, but it can take down the strongest faith. Faith is like a horse. Now I know it isn’t literally like a horse, but metaphorically speaking it can be. For this particular symbolism, let’s say it’s one of those huge Clydesdale work horses. They are incredibly big and strong, but they weren’t always like that. They, like faith, started out young once. Vulnerable and susceptible to many things like disease and injury. Faith starts out much the same way, small and easily destroyed unless taken care of. As the farmer cares for the foal and makes sure it has enough hay and water, so we have to take care of our faith. We need to feed and water it with the Bible, to strengthen it. As the foal grows from a foal to a pony and from a pony to a horse, it needs exercise. Otherwise the animal will become fat and useless. Our faith also needs to be exercised to build up its muscle and strength. We go through trials as our faith exercise.


When that Clydesdale is a foal, and a pebble gets into its hoof, it is hard for that foal to recover. In some cases the foal may be crippled for life because the pebble cause it to stumble and get hurt. When a person’s faith is young and vulnerable, doubt can do the same thing. That faith will come apart easily, for it is not strong enough to hold up against the doubt. When the Clydesdale is bigger, it is harder for the pebble to bring the animal done because the animal has some strength to hold up against the pain and more balance to keep itself from falling. As a full grown horse, the Clydesdale is able to keep going even more so when there is a pebble in its hoof making it hard to walk. So faith that is strong holds up against doubt. But here’s the thing, whether big and strong or small and weak, if let to sit in the horses hoof, a pebble will cripple or kill both. Infection will come and start to destroy the foot. Eventually the animal won’t be able to walk at all until the pebble is removed. Even a faith so strong to move a mountain can be crippled by doubt because instead of removing the doubt and sending it packing, that person allows doubt to follow them around and whisper constantly in their ear. Persistence gets us places, isn't that what we say? The same goes for doubt. If it constantly persists in telling you the 'what ifs', eventually you will start to listen and wonder yourself about the 'what ifs'.


With removal comes pain and building back up of strength. The infection has to be drained and the hoof has to heal. The animal needs special caring for to restore it back to health. So does a crippled faith. A horse will eventually die because it is mortal, but faith is different. If you let doubt sit on that mountain and tell you constantly that you can’t move it, it can kill your faith just as the infection from a pebble can kill the Clydesdale. But faith can be built back up even if it dies. God has the power to bring it back to life, but you will start from the beginning just as a person crippled in a car accident has to start from the beginning with physical therapy.

Potholes

Around and around,
I feel like I’m going,
Over the same road
In a circle.
Not progressing,
But falling back
Into the same potholes.
Each time I go around,
The pothole gets bigger.
First it was small,
Barely a crack in the road.
I tripped only slightly,
But kept going.
The second time,
It was a little bigger,
But I didn’t notice.
Again, I slightly tripped,
But kept moving.
The third, fourth, fifth, sixth times
I didn’t notice the change of the pothole.
It got bigger,
Each time I tripped.
The next time I would walk over it,
It would be a hole,
Where my feet have tread away the dirt
From countless years of tripping over it.
Yet again, I feel as though I’ve tripped
Over the pothole.
But now it’s not so small.
I didn’t realize how big it had gotten,
Until now.
It has gotten so big,
That this time, I have fallen very hard,
And I am unable to get up.
I’m stuck in this pothole,
And I don’t know what to do.
Someone needs to rescue me.
To pull me out and brush me off.
But I’m afraid to get out.
What if I fall into it again?
Next time, if it happens,
I’m not sure I will want out.
It is easier to lay there injured,
Than to go through the pain,
Of healing the broken bones.

And next time,

It will be more painful.