Perseverance in Healing

I recently was involved in a major car accident...the first ever. (Although I have been in several fender benders, but nothing causing injury.) I was asleep in the backseat, laying down with the passenger seat belt behind the driver securing me in. Not the smartest choice in where to buckle myself in, but at least I was buckled in. The seat belt was wrapped around my ribcage, so when the driver inadvertently fell asleep and crashed head first into a ditch I was folded in half at my ribcage upon impact. The Lord was definitely protecting us though. Thankfully I don't remember anything, what I know is based off of what my bruises tell me and the story of others who saw what happened. The driver only received a scrapped knee that didn't need stitches and a brush burn from the seat belt with some bruising. I got a lot of bruising around my ribcage and chest area and some on my legs. There were no broken bones for punctured organs. Praise Jesus! The pain was pretty intense on my part. I couldn't sit up because it felt like my chest was exploding and my muscles wouldn't hold me. Everything was tingling, not in a good way, and it took sheer will power and a lot of slow moving to do anything in the ER. At one point I wondered if what I was feeling was equivalent to childbirth, just in a different area. If so, then I got that down for later. Haha! I also realized my pain tolerance was pretty good, and that I am capable of handling a lot of pain without medication. And since the paramedics wanted tests to go more quickly they didn't give me any pain killers til right before I was leaving, which was good cause I didn't want to be there any longer than they wanted me there. So in the heat of the moment I can handle the pain and work through it...

That's not really the case with the healing process. It has been difficult to wake up every morning and hurt. It has been frustrating that I can't lay down to sleep, I have to sit up. I haven't been able to go to work or drive. Being dependent on people is hard for me, and it's something I've had to do. I just want to be comfortable. The healing has been faster than what the doctors said it would be due to a lot of prayers from family and friends going before the Lord about it. But it's still taking time, as all healing does. I was hoping that I could go back to work on Mon; I had it all planned out. I was gonna push through the discomfort, not make a huge deal about how I was feeling, act like I can do more than I actually can, and be alright to work. My plan didn't really go as I wanted. The doctors want to make sure I am really ok and that I won't injure myself again by going back to work.

All of this got me thinking. This is similar to what happens when I am spiritually wounded. I can take the pain. I play it like things don't hurt as much as they do and I push through it to do what I need to do. Relying on my own will power to get through something is my go-to strategy. But when it comes time for the healing part I have very little patience, and I become frustrated with the process and time it takes. I want it to be quick and easy so that I can move on and continue life. But it's never easy and even though it may move faster some times than others, it's never fast enough. I have to rely fully on God in healing because I can't heal myself; the wound limits what I can do so I have to rely on someone else to do things for me. It is hard to rely on God. It's hard to wait for the healing to be complete so that the wound doesn't get reopened by my rushing. I know I'm not the only person that reacts this way to healing. Healing isn't easy for anyone. And if you say it is, then I'm calling you out on lying. If it's easy, then it's not true healing. It takes perseverance to go through the healing process.

In the New King James version, perseverance is used 8 times. The verse that is most associated with this word is Rom 5:3-5
              "And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that
               tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character;
               and character, hope".
This is one of those verses that sometimes makes me want to throw the Bible and say "screw that". But that's beside the point. Seven out of the eight verses use one Greek word for perseverance, and the other verse a separate one. The first, which is used in the Romans verses just stated, comes from the word hupomone (hoop-om-on-ay') and means to have cheerful (or hopeful) endurance, constancy: enduring, patience, patient continuance (waiting). The second is proskarteresis (pros-kar-ter'-ay-sis) and means persistancy: perseverance.

Hmmm...it's interesting how God uses physical situations to teach me about spiritual things.

Singleness

Definitely enjoyed reading this. Good stuff. :)

http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/relationship/blog/28169-qlet-god-write-your-love-storyq

Unexpected Word

I have been meaning to write about this for some time, but something has seemed to come up, or I couldn't come up with the right words to write this.

One Tuesday night, a man with the gift of prophecy came to Christ Community to talk. He is also a musician. It was amazing. I could tell the Lord was there when he first started worship; you just could feel His presence. This man's wife sang and his son played electric guitar with him. His son is a very talented guitar player. There was no sheet music he was following; he was just free styling it as his Dad played the melody. It was so beautiful and wonderful to hear them.

After the music and him teaching on being caught in the middle, he said if anyone wanted prayer they should come up to the front and he would pray over you. At first I wasn't sure if that meant we were all supposed to go up or only some people. After thinking about it for a second I decided I wanted to go up, but I was a little scared to (for silly reasons). It was partly cause I wasn't sure I would like what I would hear, but my curiosity won over my fear. I wanted to know he would say to me.

It took a really long time for the guy to pray for everyone. I was right around the end, so I had time to prepare for what might be said to me. I was hoping it would be something profound, something about my future or certain desires and the timing of their fulfillment. In actuality, it was about the complete opposite of that. The whole thing was recorded, but I did not get a CD, so what I have to share is what I wrote down right after I was prayed for. So here is the basic gist of what was said: (I wish I could show you how my notes are for this cause they are all over, but I'm organizing it for you. =D)

"Back in the Bible days Israel used these huge, like 40,000 tons, stones to make the foundations of the temples. They would move them into place and hand chisel the pillars. You have these big blocks for a foundation. The blocks for the foundation are moving, but they move slowly. Wait and be patient. It takes time; they're not just something you can pick up and move quickly even though you may want that to happen. The foundation is being moved so that something strong can be built on it. Talk to God and share your heart with Him; spend time with Him. PATIENCE!"

When I heard I had to be patient, I sighed and gave a little chuckle. It was frustrating and encouraging all at the same time. Frustrating because I wanted so badly to know something really important and be enlightened about where my life was going; and that is not what I was told. But encouraged because it clarified something I've struggled with about myself. Often times I wonder if God is changing me in any way. A lot of my friends will be able to point out exactly what God is doing in their lives all the time. It has seemed like God is always working in other peoples lives, but it hasn't really appeared like God is doing anything in mine. There are a couple times where that hasn't been the case, but for the most part I feel like I progress really slowly in my relationship with God compared to others. Now it makes sense, kind of. It has helped me to understand why I feel like that, but not why I have been chosen to have my life work that way. SO frustration and some encouragement. And because I have that innate desire to know everything, it makes sense why I would be told to be patient. *sigh -_- lol!